I heard a quote while writing content for our grief shelf range that has stuck with me.
“Happy and sad can co-exist”
At Christmas I think this couldn’t be truer for many of us.
While Christmas can be filled with tradition, family gatherings, laughter, familiar songs, smells, and food…the members of this industry know all too well that it’s also a time that these things can remind you of what or who is missing.
You could be busy laughing and enjoying an event and be triggered by a smell or a memory. Whether they haven’t been there for years now, or it’s the first Christmas without them. One thing we know is there is no timeline to grief, and support in the years and weeks that follow a loss is very much needed.
This Christmas we wanted to do something for those who are taking an urn home with them, knowing it will be a bit harder this year without that person there to decorate the tree. So, we created an ornament that will be given out with every large or children’s urn in November to be passed onto the families who ordered them.
Creating connections with those that can’t be with us is an incredible tool for coping with grief, one that can be used for years to come. One of our staff shared an image her friend sent her, where she incorporated her mum’s urn into the table setting so she could still be at Christmas lunch!
What else could you do, or encourage your families to do this Christmas to help create connection and start a new tradition so that the happy and sad feeling of grief at Christmas can co-exist?
We asked people for some ideas
- Hang a stocking for them and fill it with their favourite sweet
- Pour a drink in honour of them
- Make the dish they always contributed
- Take a moment to speak about them and share a memory
- Set them a place at the table with a photo of them in their seat
- Write them a card with all you wish you could say this year
- Buy a gift from them to someone else that would really appreciate it… grandkids, children
We also asked people what they thought was important to buy a griever at Christmas instead of a traditional Christmas gift
- A journal, somewhere to write to them, about them or just reflect on their grief
- A print or affirmation cards for words of wisdom when they need it
- Something that reminds you of the person they lost, as a piece of connection
- An ornament with their loved one’s name
- A framed photo
- A photobook from images of Christmas’ past all together
- A self-care item as they may not be doing much for themselves right now
- A keepsake box they can put some of their loved one’s belongings in to pull out on hard days
In this lead up to Christmas we encourage you to think about what you do, offer or say to the families you are caring for at Christmas that is a little different. What do you do for the families who you have cared for this year, where this is their first Christmas without the one they lost in 2024? What do you do as a family yourself to honour those who are not there in person anymore or to support a family member? How can we help happy and sad to co-exist this Christmas?
Thank you for all that you do all year round, and especially at Christmas!
Contribution from Final Touch Australia